I was sitting at home the other night, to be fair like most nights, and a thought struck me. What happens now? Not as in what happens in this rubbish TV show, or what happens now I’ve flushed the toilet or even what happens now I am naked in front of the mirror. More what happens with my life?

Clearly NYE has a big affect on a lot of people. Thoughts turn to how the year progressed, what’s changed in the 12 months and often what’s not changed. For me it has seen the biggest change in years. One which I wanted and I know is for the best but one that still hasn’t sunk in fully.

Here I am a single man/dom/daddy with life suddenly open. Let me put here that I am a dedicated father to my kids, and they will always hold part of my life. So while I have lots more free time, it’s often time worked out with the ex. I can’t just come and go as I please; I have to make sure my kids are happy first and foremost.

I think that feeling of being a bad dad holds me back a little from pushing myself. For too long I was held back from being the person I wanted. So much so a few years ago I went online created an online persona and played out parts of me which made me happy. Some of you will know that person, some will not.

I have never managed to capture that happiness I felt as him. Ok, he was me and talking in the third person is a little odd, but he was everything I wanted to be and more. I want to be more like that again. I want to have all of him again. So much so I have spoken to people about him, some people who I looked up to and admired him.

So while looking back I have decided to make some changes. This was mentioned in the Wicked Wednesday post but I will be rebranding. Not to the old me, but a new me with a similar based name. Having the persona of someone who was really me but with bells and whistles was so freeing.

Keep an eye out for the change. The blog name will change, the twitter will change and importantly my avi/picture will change. I am becoming more of the me I miss and less of the me I dislike.