So….

I like the word so. I know I over use it in my writing and I certainly know I over use it when talking to people. Often as a pointer to change the direction of a conversation or at the end of a conversation. I know that sounds odd but it works for me.

So why am I telling you this crazy shit. Well it’s been fucking ages since I wrote anything on this black page of the internet. So I have decided to sit at my laptop and bang a few words out just to prove this site is still alive and to prove I am still alive.

I tend to stop writing when I am in a relationship. This is still the case but sometimes it’s good to write shit down and get it out there. I have nothing really to say at the moment. Things are peachy as a person I work with says, they are not a colleague, just someone I work with.

Maybe in the future I will write more, maybe I won’t write anything for months again. Who the fuck knows? All I know it I have a potty mouth tonight. So….

Please leave a message at the comment section

There is no one here right now to write a blog post. So please leave your name at the comments section and I will get back to you when I can.

Oh and before you moan I know it’s in the comment section but that doesn’t suit the faux voicemail tone I am trying to convey. Then again you probably just thought it was the usual mistype as I have a lot of those. Either way this time it’s on purpose. So there!!!!

That is all carry on

Renew

So then it has been an absolute age since my less confession. Many things have come and gone. People and places have changed and I am still here wondering through the strange and weird world a little bit more knowledgeable and certainly much happier.

I have recently been thinking should I bring back HD for a renewed trip into my mind? Should I pick up the twitter lark again? Should I write on this site again about my thoughts, ideas and feelings towards the world? I am tempted to say I should. I am tempted to try it again not because I failed last time but because I have so much in my little brain it needs to come out before it pushes out the important stuff.

This will not happen over night as I might have forgotten how to write about me and not my opinions of the world as I do elsewhere. So lets see where we go with it. No pressure.

HD

Don’t be a d**k

I been thinking recently about being a Dom and how some people go about reinforcing that in practice.

My approach is subtle and not about being a dominant. It’s about getting to know someone and getting them to know me. It’s about connecting with someone on a personal level way before anything sexual happens.

When I speak to people who have interacted with other Doms it makes me very confused. Why would anyone just read that you’re a Dom and go… Ok let’s play.

Why would anyone call you sir straight off the bat? Why would you expect them to even listen to you, let alone do as you tell them? Why should they even bother to talk to you?

I’m not the most experienced Dom and never claimed to be. Yet I know what works for me and I like to think I know what works for some of the people I meet. Being what is essentially a bully isn’t going to work.

Not only are you being a dick but you give Doms a bad name. Again this is anecdotal evidence from people I’ve spoke too. As Adam Hills says “Don’t be a dick!”

anniversary (with a small A)

Today was, and I guess still is, my 11th wedding anniversary. It was 7 months ago I moved out of the family home and on a new journey. Not of discovery or anything as grandiose, more of necessity.

I was not a good person towards the end of my marriage, I was if anything an utter twat. I can blame this or that for my failings but they are my failings and ones I have addressed as I have been alone.

My life isn’t easy, no ones really is but I live day by day in the hope things will change or that something will just happen to force me to change. Yet nothing has yet. Nothing has come along and said to me, this is what you need to do to achieve X or Y and it won’t. Cos I have no idea what I want long term.

Slowly I am starting to understand what I need from life and what I need from myself to make something of my life. I need to stop thinking of what was or hat could be and simply concentrate on the what is. The here and now are more important that anything as it’s tangible.

Thanks should go to Twitter, I have friends, very close friends who are there for me to help me get through everything. They have helped me get passed the past and move forward.  Some of these amazing people I have even met and enjoyed their company… if you get what I mean *wink wink, nudge nudge*

As time moves forward I want to enjoy more peoples company. I want to enjoy life as it is and not how it should be. I need to accept that it was all my fault and move forwards as if I am in control of my destiny… oh wait I am in control